


Dices

by nityge



Category: star wars the last jedi
Genre: F/M, Hux is Not Nice, Poe is not nice, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 23:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13042191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nityge/pseuds/nityge
Summary: Have you seen the look on Hux face in the last scenes of TLJ?My guess: Kylo Ren will not have enough time to enjoy his Supreme Leadership.Whether he’s left on Crait on his own or imprisoned, he will have a hard time. But which way it goes, it will lead to his redemption.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the past die, kill it if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you meant to be.

The pair of dices are slipping through his fingers, vanishing like everything else in his life.

The girl … He tights his fist, trying to forget the feeling of the dices in his hand. To forget the feeling of her fingers grazing his skin. The girl … How dare to shut the door in his face. He will pay it back. Break the bond and destroy her.

She cannot hide forever. He will find her. Make her pay for denying him twice. The bond will help him. She cannot close it forever. He will find a way to open that door. And when he does, he will let her feel his hate. That she means nothing now and never meant. He will make sure that her friends get knowledge of the bond. They will despise her. Oh, how they will despise her. And fear her. And tell her to leave. She will be truly alone, with no one to turn to. And when she is finally crawling back to him, he will deny her. Kill her. Then finally, he will be free of the sparkle of hope she gave him. His stupid, little heart will finally give up the light and embrace the darkness he’s yearning for.

_Let the past die, kill it if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you meant to be._

With this thought, he gets up. Goes back to the place he has chosen. Supreme Leader Ren. The man who will bring back order and balance to the galaxy. He will fulfill the destiny of his grandfather.

The bright light of the salt desert blinds him. Reminds him.

_Rey …_

No, no more thoughts on her. What could have been. He feels a sting in the chest.

_Don’t be pathetic._

That’s his last thought, before the darkness engulfs him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looks up. Hux is standing on a platform far above him, looking down, a sadistic grin on his slimy face.

He wakes in the Grey. For a second he thinks, he’s dead. But then he hears the laughter.

 _Hux_!

He looks up. Hux is standing on a platform far above him, looking down, a sadistic grin on his slimy face.

“Hux!”

He snarls that name. Tries to get up, but slips on the floor. His skin is grazed by sharp stones. Wait his skin? He looks down at his body. His clothes are gone. What the fuck? Where is he? Where did they take him?

He turns around. Scans his surroundings. Grey stony walls. A metal door to the left. He rises to reach it. But there’s a pull at his neck as he does. Fuck. A heavy chain, attached at a collar around his neck, pulls him back to the dirty floor. Breath! He reaches for the Force. Nothing. Numb. No, no, no ... He claws at the collar to get it off. Screams as his nails break the skin on his neck. He gets up, pulls at the chain, claws at the collar, screams out his rage. Over and over again. 

“Pathetic, Ren. Don’t try to behead yourself. The Hutts are paying a good price for you. Can’t wait to see you crawling in a golden bikini.”

With that Hux leaves. And Kylo is left alone in the Grey.

 

****

  
Hux enters the provisional throne-room on the Finalizer, where the officials and officers of the First Order are gathered.

_I will get a nice one soon._

“Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that our beloved Supreme Leader Snoke is dead. He has been killed by the traitor Kylo Ren who then tried to escape and join the resistance forces on Crait. But with the help of my loyal crew I could stop him and execute him on-site.”

There’s a whisper among the assembled. Hux can see the admiration and also disbelief in their faces. But the nice video of Ren’s execution will make sure that they believe in him and his strength. He will spread it in the Holonet. He, Hux, is the true leader of the galaxy. Yes, he is.

“And from now on I will lead you in our fight for order. I will be your Supreme Leader!”

The crowd chants: "Heil, Supreme Leader Hux!”

It’s done.

 

****

  
“Mitaka!”

“Sir!” The timid officer jumps to his side, eager to please him.

“Supreme Leader, Mitaka. Supreme Leader.” He lectures the young man. “Make sure, you don’t forget.”

“Of course, Sir, Supreme Leader.”

Hux stops him with a rude gesture.

”Write me a nice little speech for the holonet. Just like the last one. But make it more, more …”

“More pathos, Sir? …. Supreme Leader?”

“Yeah, yeah, pathos. That’s good. You know what I like. And Mitaka, inform the Hutts on Tatooine that we’ve got Ben Organa for them. Use a save line.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Mitaka turns to leave, but stops at the door.

“Ben Organa? Like General Organa? Is he…?”

“Yes, Mitaka. We’ve got the son of General Organa and he will gain us a nice price.”

 

****

 

“Rey, Rey, have you heard? Kylo Ren is dead. He was killed by his own people. There’s a nice video of his execution.”

Finn beams at her, happy to share the news.

“Does the General know?”

“Poe has told her. She was overwhelmed as you can imagine.”

“Where is she? I have to get to her.”

Her lips are trembling now. She tries to get up, but Finn stops her.

“Peanut. It’s a good day for galaxy. Finally there’s justice. For Han, Luke and all the others.”

She has tears in her eyes now.

“I feel so sorry.”

“Me too, Peanut. But Leia is strong. She will pull out of it.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren was a monster, a murderer, a lunatic.
> 
> And Ben Solo? Just an illusion she believed in without thinking. Inane as waiting for parents who would never return.

After hours of screaming and raging like a lunatic he’s on his knees. Defeated. Spiritless. Done.

His body is bleeding from several little cuts, but he feels nothing. Just numbness. A buzzing evolves in his ears, chanting its cruel song: you are alone, you are alone, you are alone. One single tear of cold sweat loosens from his hair and runs done his spine. Slowly, but inexorably it reaches his bottom and pools between his ass cheeks. Like a reminder what is to come, once he’s in the hands of the Hutts. That’s when his mouth is kissing the floor and his horrified mind is escaping into the safety of utter darkness.

 

****

  
Ben is dead.

No, Kylo Ren is dead.

It shouldn’t hurt her, should it?

No, no it shouldn’t.

Kylo Ren was a monster, a murderer, a lunatic.

And Ben Solo? Just an illusion she believed in without thinking. Inane as waiting for parents who would never return.

But it‘s not the same.

Cause she does remember: the look in his eyes, the movements of his lips, the light touch of his fingers. And his mind like a soft veil on hers, whenever the Force was connecting them.

He didn’t feel like a monster then. He had been just a boy. Scared, alone, yearning for someone to share. He felt familiar, an unjustified victim so much like her. It made it easy to fill her heart with compassion for him and hope for their cause. Easy to form a plan to save him. To run to him. And take him with her, back to the resistance. But it had been a trap laid out by Snoke. And Ben Solo, the boy, had turned out as an illusion. Because Kylo Ren had his own agenda, dissolving her compassion into nothing.

The Force bond had ended with Snoke’s death. It did not at once. It flicked up for a last time. Giving her a memory so cruel, it took all her willpower to close her heart from it.

Now the bond is gone. Gone like her compassion for him. Leaving her empty in the Force.

She doesn’t watch the video. It would be a final, she doesn’t crave for. Instead she goes to Leia. To spend her comfort and help her through the grieve. It is her last act of compassion for the boy, who is now lost to the dark.

But when she arrives there, Leia is gone. Vanished into the Force. She is finally together with the son, she loved so much. Forever in the Force with him. And with her husband and her brother. And it is too much to bear for Rey. Because she’s alone, like she has always been. And there’s no hope. It is all gone with the boy, she still does remember.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He snarls at the man who’s holding the shaft. THe guy looks like a bantha guard, dirty, ragged, smelling even from the distance. There’s a smile on the his face. Like he knows something Kylo doesn’t. He turns away from that smile.

He dreams of Rey.

They are back in the elevator. She’s pleading with him.

_Let me help you. I can help you._

He doesn’t know what to reply. He’s just staring at her, waiting for something.

Then she’s at him. Her fingers are tracing the scar she has left on him.

Her mark!

He fears her touch. Cause it makes him feel vulnerable and exposed. But it’s wonderful. Soon her fingers are replaced by soft, wet lips, tracing down his collarbone, nudging at his chest. Again and again until …

 

****

 

He’s up in a crouch immediately. Have they come? Are they taking him? He will fight. He doesn’t need the force. He will use his hands, legs, teeth. He has done this before. Just let them get close enough.

There’s a long shaft with a sponge at the tip, poking at his chest, leaving a wet trace there. Water! Someone has come to him with water. On a sponge!

In rage he‘s reaching for the stick, but he’s not fast enough. The chain is confining his moves.

“Tse, tse. Are you not thirsty, boy?”

He snarls at the man who’s holding the shaft. THe guy looks like a bantha guard, dirty, ragged, smelling even from the distance. There’s a smile on the his face. Like he knows something Kylo doesn’t. He turns away from that smile.

“Oh yes, you are thirsty.”

Now the man nudges the wet Spange into his cheek.

"Suck on it, boy.”

More poking. He would have to turn his mouth to get relief.

“Be a good boy for me.”

He doesn’t want to submit.

“Yeah, just a little more and you got it.”

The need to drink is overwhelming.

"That’s good. Suck it. Use your pretty lips.”

He sucks on the sponge with closed eyes, until it’s taken from him.

“You want more?”

_It’s your decision._

“Open your pretty eyes.”

_You have to do it on your own._

“Good boy. I can help you.”

He’s looking at the man, while he is giving in to the humiliation. And he doesn’t close his eyes again.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The man leaves him when he is done with the humiliation, telling him that his slavers will arrive soon. So Kylo isn’t surprised when the door opens again. But there are no slavers. Just a boy is standing there and staring at him.

“Her brother‘s death was too much for her heart.”

Poe Dameron doesn’t mention the death of the lost son. It’s not a story to share outside the inner circle of the resistance, which contains now just him, Connix and Finn. He sighs and looks into the grief-stricken faces of his remaining companions. They have lost their leader, their general, their princess.

_And a dear friend._

He turns to Rey. The young woman is a crying mess, clutching Leia‘s coat tightly. She looks so young and vulnerable, but Poe knows. That girl is a weapon. Their best asset to win the damn war. He has seen her potential when she saved them on Crait. Lifting rocks, let them bow to her will. Like they are feathers. It had been a magic moment.

Finn told him that she had fought against Kylo Ren on Starkiller and had won. 

Kylo Ren, that horrible killer of the First Order. Poe shivers as he’s thinking of the young man. Once he had been Ben Solo, beloved son of General Organa and Han Solo before he suddenly disappeared. Poe wouldn’t have known that, if Leia had not told him in the wake of Han’s death. Poe shivers again. A son killing his father in cold blood. But Kylo Ren is no longer a problem. Executed by his own people, after he had committed treason and killed Snoke.

Poe wonders why Ren had betrayed his master after all that time of fighting, torturing, murdering for him. What had changed his commitment? On Crait he still had been with the First Order. Poe shivers as he remembers the fight between Ren and Luke Skywalker. It had been clearly personal, somehow disturbing. Leia had told him that Ben Solo was once Luke‘s pupil, but turned against him and emerged as Kylo Ren. And now he had turned again? He killed Snoke. But why? 

And the girl Rey? How does she fit into this? Is there a danger, that she too takes the wrong path and becomes a killer like Kylo Ren? Poe will have to watch her.

 

****

  
The man leaves him when he is done with the humiliation, telling him that his slavers will arrive soon. So Kylo isn’t surprised when the door opens again. But there are no slavers. Just a boy is standing there and staring at him.

He’s approximately 10 years old, maybe older and very beautiful. His cherubic face is framed by brown curls and he has the brightest blue eyes, Kylo has ever seen.

“Who are you? Are you his son? Has he sent you?”

The boy doesn’t answer him. Instead he steps closer into Kylo‘s range.

_I could kill him now, take my revenge._

“That wouldn‘t work in your favor.”

“What?” Kylo is startled. _Who is he?_

"It’s  time to leave.” The boy points to the opened door.

“I can’t. Don’t you see this?” He rattles at the chain. “I’m trapped!”

The boy shakes his head.

“The trap is the one you have chosen for yourself. Get over it.”

“How? I don’t know how!”

“You have it all in you. Just use it!” And with this the boy is vanishing through the door.

 

****

  
What does he mean? Use the force? It’s gone. There’s a damn collar with a chain around his neck, separating him from the Force. He couldn’t lift a pebble, even if he wanted. Stupid boy! 

_Get over it. You have it all in you. Just use it._

And Kylo does exactly this. He collects his thoughts around the collar that holds him. He wraps it tightly like a snake its prey. And then he pulls, pulls at it with all his strength. Screaming and reaching into the Force that surrounds him, until his powers are at a never known limit. And then he is finally free.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The call of the Force comes over her like a surge.  
> Each cell in her body and mind is touched by it, slowly forcing her own powers to erupt into a stream. She tries to resist and pushes all of her energy and willpower against it. But it doesn’t help. The pull of the Force is too strong. Her efforts explode into a gush of bright light. And then it’s gone and the room is dark again.

The call of the Force comes over her like a surge.

Each cell in her body and mind is touched by it, slowly forcing her own powers to erupt into a stream. She tries to resist and pushes all of her energy and willpower against it. But it doesn’t help. The pull of the Force is too strong. Her efforts explode into a gush of bright light. And then it’s gone and the room is dark again.

“Rey, Rey. Are you ok?”

Finn storms into her room, followed by Poe and a sleepy Lieutenant Connix.

“I, I don‘t know.” Her skin is burning.

Finn wraps her in his arms, strokes carefully some loose hairs out of her face.

“It’s okay, Peanut. You‘re safe now.”

Poe isn’t as patient as Finn.

“Rey, we need to know what happened.”

Finn rubs her back, encouraging her. She swallows.

“Something was pushing inside me. Like a storm. I tried to channel it. I pushed, pushed against it. Then it was gone….”

The Force is humming inside her. The song of a signature so pleasantly familiar.

_Ben_?

“Oh, no.” _This can’t be._

“What is it, Rey?”

The humming increases. Then there’s silence. And finally she sees him. The mop of black hair. A bared back and naked ... Oh, goodness. He’s nude! A very nude Kylo Ren is fighting with a man. He has him in a headlock, squeezing his neck. She watches as the strong muscles of his arms and back are working. It’s looks powerful and somehow elegant. Crack! The man slips dead to the ground. And Kylo turns his head to the side. 

_I guess, I have to thank you!_

Crack!

 

****

 

“Rey!” Someone is slightly slapping her cheek.

“Can you get up?” Finn helps her to sit up. “You went down, lost conscious.”

She looks at Finn.

“I....” She tries to get up.

“Slowly, Peanut.”

Poe grabs her arms, helps her up and holds her steady. Rey knows, she needs to tell them. And yet she wishes to keep it for herself. A sigh leaves her mouth. She looks at both men.

_These are your friends. You have to trust them._

_“_ Kylo Ren is alive!”

“What?” Finn and Poe are shouting in unison, staring at her like she had grown two heads.

“That cannot be right. We have seen him die.”

“Whatever, whoever you have seen. It wasn’t him. Or it was faked by General Hux.”

Rey pauses.

_Tell them. Free yourself from the burden._

_“_ I can feel him.”

“What do you mean, you can feel him? Is this some Force voodoo?”

She can tell, Finn is a little bit upset. Poe pulls her in his direction.

“Tell us everything. You feel him. Just like, like … ? His mind?”

“No, it’s different. Right now, I just feel his force signature. He’s alive and stronger than ever.” She hesitates. 

_Tell them. These are your friends. They will understand._

“But I could also see him, talk to him. Or even touch him.”

“Have done this before? Talked to him, touched him?” Poe grabs her arms again. It isn’t supporting any longer, it hurts.

“You have touched him? Like what? Holding hands?” Finn can’t believe it.

Rey nods her head. “Something similar.”

“Are you out of your mind? He’s the enemy. He killed millions. He tortured you, he tortured Poe. He killed Han before our eyes. And I‘m not talking about me.”

Rey has never seen Finn so upset, so out of his mind. 

_They are your friends. They will understand._

“I know all this. He had done very bad things. But I‘ve also seen a different side of him. He’s not all dark. He killed Snoke to save me. There’s still light in him, he could still turn to the right path. At least I thought he could, until he told me, he wants to rule the galaxy.”

“So you have been there? When he killed Snoke?”

She doesn’t know what to reply.

Poe lets go of her arms. He turns to Finn. “Leave us!”

Finn doesn’t look at her when he leaves the room.

Poe steps back from her. He sighs, slowly shaking his head.

“I am very sorry, Rey!”

He nods at Lieutenant Connix.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He needs to get out of here. His feet start to move, but Kylo stops when he feels the air on his naked body. No, no he can’t escape like that.

The man lies dead at his feet. He feels the urge to kick the dead body but resists. No time for that. He needs to get out of here. His feet start to move, but Kylo stops when he feels the air on his naked body. No, no he can’t escape like that. He looks back at the dead man. He must have had a place in this prison to stay and rest.

  
Kylo looks around. There’s some light behind a door at the end of the hall. He runs towards it, stops when he reaches it. He feels in the Force. The room is empty. It’s a kind of dormitory. There’s a bunk with some blankets, a chair and table with dirty dishes on it. And a closet. He pushes it open. Empty. Nothing. No clothes. Just a crack on the bottom. A stash? He pushes his fingers inside, pulls at the plank, tears it out, ignoring the pain at his knuckles. There’s a huge sack inside. He takes it out, opens it, dumps the content out on the floor. Finally, clothes. Various shirts, tunics, pants, a skirt? Something black catches his eyes. He pulls it out of the heap. His pants. The bastard got his pants. He searches further, eagerly to find the rest. His undershirt is there, he pulls it over his head. Searches further, but nothing else to find. He slips into his pants without caring to search for underwear. There’s a dark brown jacket who fits him well and a belt. He looks for boots, but finds none.

  
He runs back to the corpse, pulls off the man’s boots, resists the disgust as he slips into them. They are a little bit tight but that doesn’t matter. He looks for an exist, runs down the hall to another door. It opens to a courtyard with rows of stables and a gate at the end. He senses the animals before they sense him. Farthiers! His ticket to get out of here.

 

****

 

The blaster, Lieutenant Connix is aiming at her, is no threat for her. Rey knows, she could easily pull it out of the other girl‘s hand. But this would further put her on Poe‘s bad side. She doesn’t want to risk it.

  
The resistance are her friends. They will understand, won’t they? It’s not her fault that she’s bonded to Kylo Ren. If someone is to blame it’s him and his ridiculous Master who manipulated Kylo’s feelings and bridged their minds. She didn’t ask for any of this, she tells Poe. He just shakes his head, orders her to talk about what happened with Snoke and Kylo.

  
When she finishs, there is uncomfortable silence.

  
“You should have told us.”

  
She nods submissively.

  
“I should have, but I was afraid what you would think of me. That I would loose your trust.”

  
“And guess what, Rey. You were right. We can’t trust you. We can’t take the risk that Kylo Ren gets our location out of your mind.”

  
“That won’t happen. I closed him out from my mind.” Rey is desperate now.

“Poe, please. You have to believe me. I’m strong enough to keep him out.”

  
Poe lifts his hand, cuts her off.

  
“Kylo won’t stop looking for you. He won’t give up on you. He practically proposed to you and you turned him down.”

  
“But Poe!”

  
“Stop it, Rey. You haven’t seen his rage on Crait. He acted like a maniac. I understand now. That was personal, very, very personal.”

  
The look he gives her is determined and strangely distant.

  
“You got one hour to pack. Chewie will take you to a planet of your choice.”

  
Rey nods again. She does not cry until the two have left the room.  


 

****

 

  
The Farthier, he has convinced to take him away, is a soft giant. He speeds through the night with Kylo latching onto the animal’s back. It seems to know where to take him. To a place where he’s safe from the clutches of his enemies.

  
The ride gives him time to think about the girl.

  
_Rey_!

  
Somehow when he had called for the Force, he had also reached for her powers. They had combined and had set him free. The bond opened shortly after that and Rey had seen him fighting the man.

  
_Naked_!

  
Kylo cringes with embarrassment.

  
Maybe she hasn’t seen too much. For sure she hasn’t. He had been holding the man against his front in a deadly grip, turning his back towards her. His back. And his ass.

  
_Shit! His very naked ass_!

  
He covers his face into the Farthier’s fur. Another wave of embarrassment and heat creeps through his body.

  
He would never be able to look her in the eyes again. Not that he want to see her again. And she doesn’t want to see him. The look in her eyes when she closed the Falcons door, made it clearly. No more compassion for the monster.

  
A monster that swore to kill her after she turned him down and shut the door in his face. No, no, he can’t do that. It would mean to confront her. Would she ask him why he was fighting naked? Would she laugh into his face, tell him how disgusting he is? If he tells her what happened, would she feel for him? Like she did before?

  
Kylo wraps his arms around the Farthier’s neck, wishing he could stop thinking about her.

 


End file.
